I Want to Know

I want to know, are you not here because of me?
Did you think I wasn't ready?
Are you disappointed, hurt, mad?
Or do you believe in me, that I can do something with your life?
I am selfish and want to hold you, knowing I never can. 
I am sorry if I caused you to leave the world.
Or is this your plan? 
How do I know you wanted this and how do I make sure to carry it out right. 
I need to know that you feel my heart opening to loving you. 
I need to know how to be there for you 
I need to know you are ok. 
I just want to tell you I love you. 

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