Take a Shower

Before you had Postpartum Depression, your days were structured much differently. Feeling validated in your self worth and connecting with your sense of identity involved a lot of moving pieces that you were the leader of. Well balanced meals would have been planned, doctors appointments made, programs created at work, friendships confirmed and house cleaned. All in one day. To have a sense of satisfaction, A LOT would have to happen. But now you are experiencing  Postpartum Depression, everything is deemed impossible by the chemicals in your brain that you have no control over. You don't get to be validated by a long day in the office or managing household duties. Now that you are experiencing PPD you have only brief moments to achieve any sense of worth and they come in the form of sitting up and moving your body, or taking a shower, or having a half-lucid conversation with a close family member. 
You are beaten down by depression and you are slowly being robbed of confidence and self worth. Surviving PPD requires asking for help, stripping away your pride, honesty and the ability to ride the wave and believe there is some reason you will make it to the next day, even if you don't know what that reason is. Don't try and figure it out, just believe me. PPD is terrifying, lonely, tricky, shitty, heartbreaking and A LOT of other things. It defines you in its harshest moments, but it WILL NOT DEFINE you forever. If it is defining you today, I am really sorry you have been taken over by this. If you have been experiencing this for days or weeks, I hope you have asked for help, its ok to do that 100%. If you hate yourself and feel paralyzed today, I am nudging your shoulder, dear friend, and totally agree this sucks. I am giving you a hug, dear friend, and telling you this is PPD, this is not you. It doesn't matter what other people think, it matters what you know to be experiencing. You are loved and you are worth it. 

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