Being There

Sitting. 
Pain in my stomach.
Remembering the boys days of birth. Remembering what I wanted with Piper. 
Wanting to feel it all differently. 
Hearing the cries. 
Wanting more. 
Wanting Piper and Wanting a baby in my arms. 
Each place adds peace or dissapointment. 
Sharing my story.
Helping others.
Being in places that remind me of what I wanted. Healing the large cracks in my heart..
Being in these places forces me to go there. Emotionally, physically, spiritually.
To think about my experience. What I wish it would have been. What I hoped her to be. 
People who can understand and see the importance. People who can't or won't dive into the truth about loss.
I am at odds with the truth. 
But I am here and so is she. 

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